damn those horny fangirls! they always attack in groups!
hello, ladies. looking for something? elf porn, perhaps? oh yeah, i got what you need.

animations
artwork
clocks
leatherlas
legstat
links
perversions
screen caps

WHAT'S UP? (01.06.04)

ever get new year's presents? well, hold on to your panties because you're getting a hot piece of elf this year. (oh, just check out the animations page already. figwit fans, too, i'll have you know.)

now, ladies, seriously. these succulent dishes need fansites or i'm not an elfhooker:




i'm sorry, but agent smith is just sooo NOT elrond. wtf? lol
i don't recall tolkien ever describing him as being "butt ugly." :)


for the love of eru, please tell me that one of those fair-haired delights is glorfindel. please? with lembas and cream on top?

y'all be givin' the golden flowerboy some props, yo. :)


jennifer



WHAT'S UP? (12.25.03)


MERRY ELFMAS!!!!!!! :)


acquire your "presents" (with only the finest in elvish giftwrapping!) on the animations page. :) :) :)

you DON'T WANT TO KNOW what i went through to get those uploaded. let's just say you owe me one. :)

giving you something to dream about (other than sugarplum faeries) until next christmas rolls around...


jennifer



WHAT'S UP? (12.19.03)






WHAT'S UP? (12.09.03)

i wasn't fucking with you. rotk clocks are online and ticking away the last few desperate days before pure ecstasy rhaaaat here. :)

i forgot to mention in my rotk review that at aragorn's coronation, not only does legolas look STUNNING, he's wearing one of those nifty elvish tiaras like the princess he is! :) if i remember correctly, his hair is braided a little differently as well. if they had left his hair unbraided, an usher would have had to peel me off the seat.

note: those aren't really spoilers since everyone pretty much knows that he looks hot anyway, right? ;)


jennifer


WHAT'S UP? (12.08.03)

rotk clocks will be up tomorrow! all 400 of them! (yes, there is a very good reason for their delay. you'll find out about that tomorrow as well, nosy brat. :)

in the meantime, perhaps you would like to waste your precious time reading my rotk review? :) i saw it december 5th at the kcet screening and i still haven't quite recovered yet. get ready for some hot elf action, girls!!

jennifer


WHAT'S UP? (10.25.03)



rotk clocks are very close to ticking their way into your deranged hearts. don't believe me? check this stupid shit out:

rotk in theaters now!


jennifer