updated: 12.09.03

yep, 389 clocks and it only took me until the week before the movie is released to put them up. go, me! so, just shuffle forth and have at it like denethor at sizzler's salad bar! :)

if you really want to know why the clocks weren't up nearly three weeks ago, as i had originally planned, it was a nightmarish combination of three things: moving, wildfire evacuation, and a piece of shit internet connection that would make a tree sloth look like jet li. i know most of you only come here for a giggle and not to actually use them as "real" clocks anyway, but i really did intend to get them up a month before the movie came out, no shit. sorry. :(

i will miss doing these silly things. :) perhaps if new line releases enough stupid-looking pictures from the extended edition dvd before it arrives in our greedy little hands, i'll do clocks for that as well. eru knows they cut out enough stuff to make another full-length motion picture! :snort:

once again, i sorted them by general geographical areas instead of by name. i made all of these before i saw the movie, so some of them might be in the wrong section. i contemplated making a special page for "up peter jackson's ass," but i didn't see it on any of tolkien's maps. :)


be warned: most of these clocks contain movie spoilers (that aren't always book spoilers, if you take my meaning). i also rehashed some t2t slogans, by special (read: retarded) request. :)

here's a normal one to get you started.



agonizing days until rotk
pic     script

... and here's the goofy shit:

category updated
figwit 12.09.03
gondor 12.09.03
mordor 12.09.03
paths of the dead 12.09.03
rivendell 12.09.03
rohan 12.09.03
the shire 12.09.03

just right-click on the links (or, if you're on a mac, uhh, do whatever it is you people do :) under the clocks to save the pix and the copy-and-paste scripts.

DO NOT link to these clocks directly from your site or i'll kick your fat ass all the way to the grey mountains. copy the junk and physically put it on your own damn server. feel free to post a link to us on your site, however, if you wish to share the love. :)

speaking of luv, much goes to orlandomultimedia.net for the inspiration... or whatever you might call it. :) most of these pix are from there, torn, and the official movie site. (i'm sure they're all so proud that i mentioned that. ;)

questions? problems? write.


head on back to the elf porn shack

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all clocks made by jennifer
lunagal@elfpornshack.com
(using her free time wisely ;)